You've probably heard a lot of stuff about elopements, whether from your mates, colleagues or even Pinterest. Elopements aren't a new thing by any stretch, but for a lot of people they still feel new. We've all seen hundreds of traditional weddings in movies, on TV, on Instagram and probably attended a bunch ourselves. But plenty of people have never actually seen an elopement, let alone been to one.
That's where a lot of the confusion comes from. People still picture eloping as secretly running away to a courthouse, while Instagram would have you believe it means hiking 20km up a mountain in Iceland or getting hitched while BASE jumping from a cliff in the Swiss Alps. Neither of those ideas are wrong, but they do not make up the most typical elopement.
So because elopements are still so uncommon, and unfamiliar, couples have questions. You probably have questions. Some of the most common ones I get are things like “Is eloping selfish?”, “Can we have guests?”, “Does it still count as an elopement if Dad walks me down the aisle?” or even “is eloping bad?”
So let's clear some of that up. Here are 10 of the biggest elopement myths I still hear in 2026, and what actually happens when you choose to elope.
"Eloping is so misunderstood. we put it in such a box these days, when in reality, by definition it has no limits."
James white
Myth #1: You Can't Have Any Guests
Let me just start by saying straight up, this is wildly untrue. You can absolutely have guests at an elopement. In fact, most of the elopements I've photographed have had at least a few people there. I've photographed couples completely on their own, couples with just their parents, and elopements with a small group of their closest family and friends.
There isn't some magic number where 10 guests is an elopement and 11 suddenly makes it a wedding. For me, it's more about what happens to the day when you add those people. If you invite 15 people and they're genuinely the people you couldn't imagine getting married without, you can still build the entire day around the two of you.
But as that guest list grows, the day naturally starts changing. You need more seating, more food, more transport, potentially a reception venue and a more structured timeline so everyone knows what is happening and when. You start spending more of your wedding day making sure everybody else is looked after. At some point, you've essentially started planning a very small wedding. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's different from what most people are looking for when they tell me they want to elope.
Most of the elopements I photograph have fewer than around 10–15 guests, but that's an observation, not a rule. I've had couples keep their vows completely private and then meet their families afterwards. I've had dads walk their daughters down the aisle in front of ten people. I've had couples bring their parents along for the ceremony and then head off alone afterwards.
That's really the point. Eloping doesn't mean nobody else is allowed to come. It means you get to decide who actually belongs there.
Myth #2: It has to be an adventure
This myth probably comes from what we see online. Search for elopements on Instagram or Pinterest and you'll find couples standing on mountaintops, jumping into helicopters, hiking through snow or getting married beside some ridiculous waterfall in the middle of nowhere. I love that stuff, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't mean that's what your elopement has to look like.
Remember what I said above, elopements don't have limits. They don't have hard and fast rules. Therefore, eloping is anything you want it to be, as adventurous, or laid back as you could dream.
So if hiking 15km before sunrise sounds like your idea of a nightmare, don't do it. An elopement is supposed to give you the freedom to create a day that actually feels like the two of you, not swap one set of wedding expectations for another.
You could get married in your backyard. Spend the afternoon cafe and bar hopping through Melbourne. Have a picnic somewhere you love. Go mini-golfing, get matching tattoos, grab coffee in the morning, cook dinner together, or spend the day doing absolutely nothing adventurous at all, just hanging out at a beautiful cottage or airbnb.
Of course, if you want to jump in a helicopter, hike up a mountain or disappear into the wilderness for three days, I'm absolutely there for that too. But that is not essential to have an elopement, and not essential to having the perfect day for you.
Myth #3: It's an elopement, nothing special
This is something I still hear surprisingly often. Because an elopement is smaller than a traditional wedding, people assume it somehow matters less. No huge venue, no 100 person guest list, no massive reception, no huge financial investment, so surely it isn't as big of a deal?
But what exactly makes a wedding day special? Is a wedding with 200 guests more important than one with 50? Of course not. The number of people watching you get married has absolutely nothing to do with how significant that day is. That would be to suggest a popular couples wedding is somehow more important and special than someone with less friends. When you say it like that, it seems ridiculous doesn't it?
If anything, one of the things I love about elopements is how much of the day you actually get to spend together. You're not disappearing for hours to greet tables, trying to get around 120 people for a quick hello, or constantly watching the clock because the kitchen needs you seated by 6:30. You can slow everything down and actually experience the day you're planning.
You can spend the morning together, get married somewhere you love, disappear for a few hours, have a picnic, grab a drink, meet your family for dinner or watch the sun go down somewhere beautiful. Whatever feels like you. You're still getting married. This is still the date you'll celebrate every year for the rest of your lives. Having a smaller wedding doesn't make the moment any smaller.
"At the end of the day, eloping is just a different 'type' of wedding, it's still a wedding, and it's still special"
james white
Myth #4: You only elope to save money
Let's get the obvious part out of the way first. Yes, elopements are typically less expensive than traditional weddings. When you're not paying for a venue, food and drinks for 100 people, dozens of invitations, table styling and everything else that comes with hosting a big wedding, you're probably going to spend less. Think of it this way. Is it cheaper to throw a BBQ for 10 of your friends, or a 3 course sit down dinner for 100 friends?
But saving money shouldn't be the entire reason you elope. They absolutely can get expensive. In fact, I have photographed elopements that were double the cost of some of the Hunter Valley weddings I have shot.
I've photographed elopements with helicopters, incredible accommodation, private chefs, videography, florals and multiple days of photography. You can absolutely spend money on an elopement if you want to. The difference is that you're usually spending that money on the two of you and the experience you actually want, rather than the cost associated with hosting a large number of people.
With all that said, in 95% of cases, eloping is considerably cheaper. You need less vendors, and the vendors you do need, need to do less. Think about it. Bridal party hair and makeup is usually 5-10 people for a wedding. For an elopement it's often just 1. Florals for a bridal party, plus arbour, plus reception setup can cost tens of thousands. For an elopement, it usually costs hundreds only.
That's the beauty of eloping. You are in complete control over what you prioritise, and what you want to spend big one. But if you are entering an elopement, with the sole purpose of 'this is cheaper let's do this', I think you will be disappointed, there is so much more to an elopement that should go into the decision to do one (and I say that as someone who makes money when people elope).
Myth #5: Eloping is selfish
This is probably one of the most frustrating things couples hear when they start talking about eloping. “But what about your family?” “Your parents will be devastated.” “Don't you want everyone there?” And suddenly, somehow, choosing how you want to get married has become a selfish act on your behalf.
Your wedding is one of the very few days in your life that really can be about the two of you in an earthly sense. You're the ones getting married. You're the ones making the commitment. And you're the ones who will remember how that day felt for the rest of your lives.
That doesn't mean you don't care about your family or friends. You can involve them as much or as little as feels right. They can come to the ceremony, join you for dinner afterwards, celebrate with you when you get home, or you can find completely different ways to include them.
Will some people be disappointed if you elope? Possibly. Particularly if they always imagined they'd be there when you got married. It's okay to acknowledge that without allowing somebody else's expectations to dictate your wedding.
So is eloping selfish? I don't think choosing to prioritise the two people actually getting married is selfish at all. Think about this for a second. If one of your close friends or family members was upset that you chose to get married at one venue instead of another, would you feel selfish for choosing the venue you prefer? I would hope not. Same goes for choosing to elope over having a traditional wedding. It simply is not selfish. It is your commitment to make. Make it how you feel most comfortable.
Myth #6: We only need 1-2 hours coverage
This is another one I used to hear a lot. Because an elopement is smaller, couples sometimes assume they only need a photographer for an hour or two. Ceremony, a few portraits afterwards, job done. It kind of goes back to the belief that eloping is less special.
But a smaller guest list doesn't mean there's less of a story to tell. In fact, one of the biggest advantages of eloping is that you suddenly have the freedom to make the day about far more than just a ceremony and some photos afterwards.
You might spend the morning getting ready together, grabbing a coffee, meeting your family for the ceremony, disappearing somewhere for a picnic, exploring for a few hours, stopping at a pub, watching the sunset and finishing the night having dinner with the people closest to you. Those seemingly little moments are often the ones that end up meaning the most.
Most couples have never planned an elopement before, so it's completely understandable that when they first picture one, they see a ceremony and portraits. Part of my job is helping you see everything else the day could be. And that is not me convincing you to do epic things for the sake of getting cool photos. It is about helping you build out your actual story in a meaningful and fun way for the both of you. You will regret not capturing all of that in the future. Don't make that mistake.
Myth #7: We don't need a video
This one isn't exclusive to elopements, but I hear it all the time: “We've got an amazing photographer, so we don't really need video.”
I know this decision particularly well because my wife and I made it ourselves. We had an incredible photographer, so we decided not to have our wedding filmed. Eight years later, I still wish we'd made a different decision.
Photography and video don't replace each other. A photograph can take you straight back to a moment, but it can't let you hear your partner's voice crack during their vows, your dad's speech, the ridiculous thing somebody said that made everyone laugh, or the way you both sounded when you were younger.
Think of it like going to an amazing restaurant and ordering a $250 bottle of wine. When the waiter comes over to take your food order, you say, “No thanks, we've already got an incredible bottle of wine.” They're both brilliant, but they're doing completely different jobs. Complimentary jobs.
And with an elopement, video can become even more important. If only a handful of people are there, or nobody at all. Most of the people you love won't actually see you get married, even though they would absolutely love too. So having a video of the day, what you did, what you said is going to be something truly special to be able to share with them after all is said and done.
"Shooting an elopement is not just about taking pretty pictures of you. It's more than that. It's storytelling in its rawest form. And that story is yours."
James White
Myth #8: Eloping means no traditions
I actually used to believe this one myself. I thought eloping was for people who wanted to throw every wedding tradition out the window. If you wanted your dad to walk you down the aisle, a first dance, a beautiful dress or any of the other traditional wedding stuff, surely you needed to have a traditional wedding? And maybe 50 years ago that was actually pretty true. But it's 2026 (well at least it was when I wrote this), and that's no longer the case thankfully.
Eloping isn't about being anti-tradition. It's not about hating on traditional weddings. It's about getting rid of the things that don't matter to you and keeping the things that do.
If you've always dreamed of having your dad walk you down the aisle, have him there. If you want a first dance with your friends and family watching, put on your favourite song and dance together. Cut a cake. Exchange rings. Get ready separately. Don't see each other until the ceremony. Have speeches over dinner with your 5 guests. Do all of it if those things mean something to you.
The difference is that you don't have to include a tradition simply because “that's what you're supposed to do.” You get to pick the bits you genuinely care about and forget the rest. Eloping doesn't mean abandoning wedding traditions. It means choosing which traditions actually belong in your wedding.
Myth #9: Eloping is a last minute decision
This is probably the image most people used to have when they heard the word elopement. Two people secretly running away, telling nobody, getting married as quickly as possible and announcing it to their families afterwards. And that is actually traditionally how elopements were done. But like I've said, this is 2026, and things have changed.
You can still do that if you want to, but it certainly isn't what defines a modern elopement.
Most of the couples I work with plan their elopement months in advance. They're booking accommodation, choosing locations, organising a celebrant, photography and video, sorting out what they want to do during the day and, in plenty of cases, inviting a handful of people along with them.
An elopement can be spontaneous (well, as spontaneous as the NOIM is in your intended country), but it can also involve months of planning. I tend to find the best elopements happen somewhere in the middle. Do you need 24 months to plan a 2 person elopement in the Mountains, 2 hours from home? No, definitely not. Can you plan a 15 person elopement on a glacier in New Zealand in 28 days? Also probably not.
Eloping should not add to your stress levels, so give yourself an appropriate amount of time to plan your elopement.
Myth #10: All elopements are destination.
If you've made it this far, you probably already know this one isn't true. An elopement doesn't require a nine-hour flight, a helicopter and a 20km hike somewhere on the other side of the world.
You can elope in your backyard. You can get married in your favourite bar, at a local beach, somewhere in the Blue Mountains, or while scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef if that's genuinely your thing.
A lot of the elopements I've photographed have involved travel, and I absolutely love destination elopements around Australia and New Zealand. But the destination itself isn't what makes something an elopement.
For some couples, travelling somewhere incredible is part of the experience they want. For others, the perfect elopement might happen an hour from home somewhere that already means something to them. Neither is more or less of an elopement. You don't need to build your wedding around an incredible destination, although you can. You need to build it around the two of you. If those two things happen to come together, even better.
"The easiest way to start planning an elopement is by asking a professional. They do this every day, they will help guide you"
So should you elope?
Eloping has changed a lot from the secret, last-minute weddings people traditionally associate with the word. You can have guests. You can keep traditions. You can plan it a year in advance. You can spend the entire day adventuring through New Zealand, or get married somewhere an hour from home. There isn't really a rulebook.
The whole point is that you get to strip away the parts of a traditional wedding that don't mean anything to you, keep the parts that do, and build a day around the two people actually getting married.
So if you've been thinking about eloping but worrying that you're doing it wrong, you're probably not. Make it yours. That's kind of the point. If you want to get started, simply fill out there form below, it just gives me the info I need to give you some advice to guide you. From there, you can decide whether you wan to move forward and in what way.
Frequently Asked Questions About Eloping
Is eloping selfish?
No. Choosing to have a smaller, more intimate wedding doesn't mean you don't care about your family and friends. Some people may be disappointed that they aren't invited, and that's understandable, but ultimately the two of you need to decide how you want to get married.
Is eloping bad?
Not at all. An elopement is simply a different way of getting married. For some couples a huge wedding surrounded by everyone they know is exactly what they want. For others, the thought of that sounds horrible. Neither is wrong.
Can you have family at an elopement?
Absolutely. You can have your parents, siblings, closest friends or a small group of people there. You can also include family for only part of the day, such as the ceremony or dinner afterwards, and spend the rest of your elopement alone together.
Do you have to elope in secret?
No. You can tell absolutely everyone you're eloping if you want to. Modern elopements are often planned months in advance, and plenty of couples invite a small number of guests.
Has anyone regretted eloping?
I'm sure somebody has. It would be ridiculous to claim that nobody in the world has ever regretted their decision. But personally, I've never photographed a couple who later told me they regretted eloping. I have met plenty of married couples who told me they wish they'd done it.
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